We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize