There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize