I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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