I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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