I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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