I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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