Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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