do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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