that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
