I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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