I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
