so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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