So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
