4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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