I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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