I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
