Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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