i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
