Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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