Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize