life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
how does that bad decision feel?
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