White coat. Heels.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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