Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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