i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
