What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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