I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How external is "for external use only"?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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