how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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