Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
