I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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