I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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