Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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