I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize