bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
