Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
