And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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