No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
