After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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