you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
