So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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