Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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