While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
