I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
