That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize