Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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