they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
