how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
