he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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