i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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