His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
