i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
